Bēniņos apglabātās vēstules

from Mātes Latvijas vēstule by Kaspars Dimiters

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lyrics

Bēniņos kartona kārbās krātas guļ vēstules senas kā apglabātas. Pa gadiem tur saliktas, aukliņām vītas, guļ, bērnu un mazbērnu nelasītas. Tajās mīt sapņi un jūtas tālas, vēl dzīvas kā miesa, ne virtuālas. Kā dzīslas, kā nervi rokraksti vijas no tolaiku esmes, no laimīgās Bijas. Pa kluso jau reizēm bēniņos kāpu, kad pieskarties senajiem avotiem slāpu. Turēju rokās, pat nelasīju – vienkārši kopā ar vēstulēm biju. Pat lodeņu tinte – nu kur tie gadi – vēl tagad kā silti asinsvadi. Plūst vienkārši vārdi kā asiņu plūsmas – par parastu dzīvi, bez tēlotas jūsmas. Tā asara laikam – balts kleksis kā pēda, pat nelasu, zinu – guļ vēstulē bēda. Un aploksne īpaša – krāsaina, glīta, ar saulainu sirdi paštaisīta. Nu manas vēstules tīmeklī maldās. Ciparos pārvēršas, baitos skaldās. Cietņu un serveru džungļos tās krāju, bet tām vairs nav bēniņu, tām vairs nav māju. Mīklaina ķibele nokaus ja cietni, ja hakeri izdzēsīs servera vietni, tūkstošiem vēstuļu zudīs kā migla, lai cik mana zibatmiņa ir žigla. Šodienai pēdu nav, zūd viss un mainās. Ko nepratām rakstīt, ierakstīts Dainās. Pastnieka nav vairs, kam pretī teci. Bēniņu pagātnē kāpju ar sveci. Vai Tu, mazmeit, kāpsi, kad mūžībā tīšos? Dzīvs vien caur dzīviem rokrakstiem vīšos. Ai, tas vien joks. Šo tekstu, ko rakstu, pat nerakstu, mazmeit, bet iPad-ā bakstu.

credits

from Mātes Latvijas vēstule, released August 21, 2019

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Kaspars Dimiters Latvia

Latvian songwritter and poet.

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